Its been a while since I first and last updated my blog. So I thank you for your patience.
Whilst writing about the miscarriage and life soon after had helped me somewhat, I am by no means "over it".
Friends and family have had babies and made announcements that make my heart ( and body) still yearn for one more baby. I still feel that there is someone missing from our family .
For a short time it became the "elephant in the room" between my husband and I. If we didn't discuss "it", then he wouldn't say No and I wouldn't get upset and we wouldn't have an awkward silence and distance between us. So, it was not discussed . but frustrated with this I wanted to be able to talk to the one person who had been through this with me ,the one person I loved more than anything (aside from my children obviously) the one person I felt comfortable expressing my emotions to ,without feeling judged. So I plucked up the balls to just come out with it. Hubby's response is the same. NO.
and my reaction to his response is the same . Tears, sadness, disappointment , resentment. I don't want to feel like this towards him or about him, and most of the time I don't. - I love him with a deep, deep passion he is my best friend , my soul mate, my rock my everything.
We agree on most things and with regards to parenting we are on the same page.
But this is one thing we don't agree on and can not find a middle ground, a compromise a halfway point- there isn't one. So ,for the most part it's best if its kept as "the elephant in the room".
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